![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
I have asked slave to help me create a proper website for "The Global Mews" but she keeps putting it off until she feels better and more alert - cats only live about 14 years so she better hurry up.
I got told off yesterday for guzzling my breakfast like a pig of a Labrador (?) yesterday - but I was totally innocent of the crime for it wasn't my breakfast I was eating fast it was Merlin's. She hadn't come down for breakfast so after eating my breakfast I ate hers. I think that slave was more annoyed about me barfing it all up on the top landing and then going on the mooch again.
Better go - slave will be going to bed soon and it will be time for us to race around the house really fast making all the fierce cat sounds that we have in our vast vocabulary.
Ciao - meow!
- Mood:
amused
Nice man, he has a cat, came up today to sort the noisy thing in the corner of the kitchen that heats the water and radiators. The boiler stopped working but was fixed today - but he says that it is really really old and we need to consider getting a new one. I hope that she isn't expecting us to contribute to the cost buy us less sweeties or something.
We are off to watch CSI soon - I like it 'coz there is loads of flashing lights and sounds, Princess Merlin cuddles into slave and it is a sort of family gathering. I have to wait until the adverts before I go to the litter tray - might miss something nice like a big tiger mauling some bad guy.
I have put another picture at the top of the post - you have to admit I am a really handsome chap - and pretty modest too if I say so myself.
- Mood:
sympathetic
Not much been happening - slave has used that money stuff to buy software for my new site. I am going to be running for the job as leader in the country (Scotland). My pal Barack Obama will be making presidential visits to my wee country before long. Lets face it I really can't be any worse at doing the job that the plonkers that are doing it in Westminster. I wonder if there is already a cat living in Downing Street !!
Anyway I can't linger - slave is trying to cut our meals down to two per day - but if I start begging/pestering her now I might wear her down to the stage where she will feed me to shut me up. Merlin is useless at begging - not vocal enough, to be honest she sounds like a girl - but then she IS a girl.
Bye for now
Frankie
- Mood:
artistic
Human was cuddling me much earlier and asking me if I was okay. It seems that I actually missed a meal this afternoon, must have been when I was sleeping in the cupboard in the main bedroom. Needless to say Merlin ate all the jelly off the sachet of meat and left all the dried 'meat derivatives' for me to eat.
Human is being really, really cruel to Merlin and me - she puts the sachet of food down and leaves it. She is not replacing it with another variety when I refuse to eat it (Merlin just agrees with me - a quick growl in her direction and she will agree to everything).
I might have to exist on the Iams dried complete food stuff that smells really awful.
Live is so hard for cats.
Frankie
- Mood:
annoyed
Human is feeling depressed again, does she not realise that her wandering around looking peely wally and half zombified makes Merlin and me feel depressed. It is hard to live with a human who is depressed - they stay in bed all day - getting up only for meals and visits to the room with the litter tray in it (humans don't actually use litter tray) - Wait - sorta sounds like me and Merlins normal daily routine !!
Any way I think that she is feeling a little better. She has been muttering about getting a puppy again - we just ignore her when she starts this type of anti-feline talk. She knows that to get a puppy when she has no garden is a stupid idea. She prays each week to the Lottery God.
Merlin is awake, she always wakes up crying - and lies there with a bad dose of bed hair and eyes looking totally vacant and confused.
Must go ....................... Human is heading towards the cupboard where the cat food is kept.
Frankie
(picture is of Merlin)
- Location:in front of the computer
- Mood:
curious - Music:Jingle Cats
It took me 40 minutes to get slave out of her bed this morning. It was almost twenty past four before I got my first breakfast. She swatted me away and growled at me but I had to stand my ground and insist that we be fed. Now she is moaning about me chasing Merlin up and down the stairs - she says that it is stil the middle of the night. It is almost five!
Humans are such strange creatures. If she would just obey my every demand things would be much simpler.
- Mood: cranky
Anyway I have changed the words of this song to fit me. There is a verse about having a girlfriend but it only reminds me that I have been deballed and I get all sad and stuff. The original song is by some human called Mac Davis. He was conceited - perfect cat-like quality.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble when you're purr-fect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror cause I get better looking each day. To know me is to love me I must be a hell of a cat. I guess you could say I'm a loner, a tom cat tough and proud. I could have lots of friends if I want to but then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd. Some folks say that I'm egotistical. Hell, I don't even know what that means. I think that it's 'coz I look like the cat that got all the yummy cream. Frankie
- Mood: artistic
I share my life with women (wimmin to us Scottish cats) and they are strange creatures.
My human is not too girly - she is built like a tank and not at all fragile. She is bouncy when you jump on her - and she can be used as a mountain if you need some exercise. She isn't able to work any more and this is good, it means that she doesn't have to get up early in the morning to go out. She can play with us during the night and, more importantly, she can give us snacks 24/7.
Princess Merlin (see picture) is my sister and this makes her a lady cat. I would know that she was a lady cat anyway as she has long hair and a mean temper. She hits me. She is shy about going to the litter tray. Me - I am all man cat - I once went to the litter tray (in the bathroom) for a wee when we had a plumber in there doing some work. But Merlin sits outside the toilet crying even if it just me watching birds outside the window from my vantage point on the top shelf. I actually have to curtail my favourite hobby and leave the bathroom so that she can have a little time alone to do whatever girl cats do in the litter tray.
But Merlin is nice - she lets me eat her food. All I need is to growl at her and she backs off. Some times I put my paw in her bowl so that she can't reach her food. She has to eat the Iams stuff - which is no where as nice as the meat in jelly.
I am off up stairs now to see what I can do to annoy Merlin. I have to be alert though - she has beat me up a few times - totally unprovoked attacks! Women!
- Mood: satisfied
As a cat I don't actively read newspapers, I find that humans get themselves into all sorts of trouble and most are incredibly stupid or greedy. Reading about all their antics in a newspaper makes me feel even more superior that I already am. All cats are superior to humans but some are more superior than the rest.
Whilst sleeping on a newspaper during the week I caught a look at this Barack Obama guy - he looks like a nice guy. In fact my human Uncle - Andrew - likes him and praises him highly. Andrew does not praise many people highly and certainly not politicians. Anyway - the dude looks okay.
He is like me - bit black, bit white and has a nice personality and big lugs. Wonder if he is castrated too!
I have little or no interest in such matters, but my US Cat brethren need to know that their future is in good hands. Come to think of it I believe that my human mentioned that they are 'allergy issues' in the family. How can anybody be allergic to cats, dogs maybe (nasty smelly and slobbering animals) but not one of us cats. He should get a hairless cat - it could be the "First Feline". Gawd those hairless things are ugly - yuck.
I am off to mooch some sweets off human and think up a topic for my next column entry.
Bye
Frankie
- Mood: creative
Our human has had human flu and we have been very busy caring for her whilst avoiding the germs. It might cross the species barrier and infect me and my sister.
Must get back to looking after her.
Frankie and Princess Merlin
- Mood: cranky
SusantheTartanTurtle writes: “ Where are the ‘facilities’ on the puddlejumper?”
Answer: I believe I’ve already explained this. Okay. One more time. Whenever someone needs to go to the bathroom while in a puddle jumper, everyone else moves into the cockpit and the rear compartment is sealed for privacy. Then, when the individual has finished their business, they knock three times on bulkhead and hold on tight. The jumper’s back ramp is dropped, the rear compartment depressurized, and anything not nailed down is whisked away. The ramp is then raised, the internal pressure stabilized, and the journey continues. Simple, no? Much more problematic are the toilets on Atlantis which, unlike a lot of Ancient technology, cannot be initiated and can only be flushed by someone with the Ancient gene.
http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/
- Mood: cranky
She stayed in bed for days at a time and wandered around looking awful pale and unhealthy - we stayed away 'coz you never know if what she has is catching. I mean it is called Bipolar disorder as it came from Polar Bears - so maybe cats can get it too.
She - with help from her two loving cats - is trying to keep well, especially for her trip to Dragon Con in August. We are going to a nice Cat Hotel for a week or two - we are getting a 'room' (a cell more like) each so that we don't fight, ME? I don't fight. I merely defend myself when Princess soddin' Merlin starts a fight - she started one last night when I tried to get some of her dinner. The nasty queen actually hit me - ME! Her brother. She growled at me too. I was totally innocent - as per usual.
- Mood: enraged
- Music:Alison Crowe
Today human got up early - which is pretty unusual. I don't think that she was actually very awake because Merlin and I managed to get two breakfasts from her. Humans can be so stupid some times.
She is not long in so she must have been working at Oxfam this morning. We ordered our lunch as soon as she got in and now it is time to have a nap.
We were busy playing - running around and making loads of noise - all last night. It seems to keep human awake. She muttered something about winning the lottery and getting a house with a garden. Who needs a garden when we have stairs to run up and down and up and down and ......
Some times we run over human when she is sleeping. I am pretty nimble but Merlin is not - she gives cats a bad name. human says that Merlin is 'curvaceous' - that is pretty tactful.
We are off up stairs to keep human company whilst she has her afternoon nap.
Today's picture is of Princess Merlin hanging off the back of the sofa. She isn't very elegant, but she is a great fighter.
- Mood:
hungry
My human isn't very good at getting up in the morning, some times is almost six a.m. before she wakens up. A cat could starve to death - so I wake her up earlier.
It is hard work, you have to start subtly and work up to an all out assault. Merlin ususlly gets on top of human and stomps on her - Merlin is one big lady cat - but that alone isn't enough to waken human up from her Stargate Atlantis dream.
This is why cats have sharp teeth and claws and, the best weapon ever, wet noses. To all cats out there (my fans) I suggest kissing their eye lids with a wet nose. Wakens them up - yes! Scared the crap out of them - :-) Oh Yes! and it is fun to watch them too.
Frankie
- Mood:
catty - Music:some human crappy music
Our cat mummy was a feral cat and we could easily have been brought up in the country, having to catch our own sachets of food. But we were saved by the nice people at Cats Protection. We started living with a nice lady and her little boy - but we were allergic to him, or something like that. We came here to live about two months ago.
I am a smooth haired and very handsome black and white cat and Merlin is long haired and mainly black. Merlin pretends to be all girly and innocent, but sometimes when I start a fight with her she hits me back. Does she get the 'bad cat' glare from Susan? Susan just calls her Princess and Merlin laps it all up. Bah!
Anyway we are off to do something up stairs, there is a stash of cat sweets up there so I had better toddle off and chance my luck - play the poor pitiful cat! :-)
Frankie Malcolm (helped by Merlin)
22 March 2008
- Mood:
sleepy
